Author Archives: marika@2young2retire.com

What to tell your kids…

Everyone is encouraged to write a last will and testament. But lately, there has been a great deal of interest in the ethical will, a document that passes along something more important than property and tangible assets. An ethical will can be a summary of what you hold sacred. It can be a manual for living, a ‘moral compass’ for your children and theirs, an ultimate act of generativity. Here are a few things we plan to tell ours:

  • Never stop learning. It will bring you more than knowledge. Learning will keep you curious and engaged in life. It will open your heart as well as your mind. It will bring you friends. It will bring you joy.
  • Take nothing for granted, not your spouse or partner, your children, your parents, your job, your health, your political system, the planet. Whatever you value needs tending. Attention must be paid.
  • Give freely: acknowledgment, eye contact, forgiveness, kindness, laughter, thanks, touch, and yourself.
  • Everyday, put yourself in another’s shoes; listen better; keep the peace; move your body; enjoy food; work well; play much; sleep enough; ask nicely; save something; tell the truth; cultivate stillness.
  • Don’t look back in anger or regret. Everything is a lesson. Learn it and move on.

Best Places

You’ve had it with shoveling snow, long commutes to work, paying too much in real estate taxes. The grandkids moved to another state. Your elderly parents need your help across the country. One or more of these can trigger questions about relocation as we cross the threshold into the second half of life. As we age, we become a nation in search of the ‘best place’ to live. Suppose you find, as we do, the usual list of location must have’s inadequate. You know, the lists that assume you’ve hung up your spurs as regards making a living: affordable housing; plentiful leisure activities; cultural options; sunny weather; good health care access.

All good, but suppose you want or need an income. Suppose you want to live near your grandchildren or elderly parents in an environment that is business-friendly. While it is true that technology has enabled many of us to work remotely, what if your dream is to become a minister, or open a dog grooming business or launch a practice as a professional organizer, to name three on our Top Ten? Through this lens, we took a look at information that is available for the asking on the web and here are our best picks. Who knows? When you start researching your personal best place, you may find that your own hometown has more going for it than you realized.

Rightsizing Your Life

“We shape our buildings, and afterwards our buildings shape us,” said Sir Winston Churchill. That is a good preface for a review of Ciji Ware’s new book, Rightsizing Your Life: Simplifying Your Surroundings While Keeping What Matters Most (Springboard Books 2007). This is a well-organized, lively manual on creating an environment that supports our choices in the second half of life. It includes relocation – whether to, where, when, and how – which, after money and health, is a major concern for many of us as we grow older. This is due, in part, to the size of the continent we inhabit, and our propensity for moving for work or family. Sometimes those moves take us far from our homes of origin, for better or worse, and sometimes on the periphery of what we value most.

The other factor the book tackles head on is our possessions. To stretch the Churchill quote just a little, we have become possessed by our possessions. How to maintain, preserve, protect and store our stuff have become industries in their own right. So Rightsizing Your Life is, among other things, an exhortation to simplify in the second half of life, to pare down to what we consider the essentials (a revealing exercise if there ever was one!), and thus create space for self-discovery, creativity, an exhilarating new freedom, to name a few benefits.

Following an excellent Foreword by Gail Sheehy, Part I covers just that. Part II is where the rubber meets the road: a seven-step how-to that makes rightsizing sound, if not easier, than doable and necessary. I was particularly taken with Chapter 6, “Identify Your Favorite Things,” a discussion that goes far beyond the thing itself. You will no doubt recognize yourself somewhere in the list “Ten Reasons We’re Prisoners of Our Possessions.”

If you feel yourself more than ready to rightsize and simplify but feel overwhelmed by the task, go directly to “Call in the Professionals” – yes, there is a small army of people who can help you declutter, sort, organize, move, retrofit, remodel. Great resources throughout, including websites and other readings.

Not So-New ‘Retirement’

A study from the Vanguard Center for Retirement Research released recently is further evidence that retirement is more marketing concept than reality. “Worried You Don’t Have Enough for Retirement?” (from AARP The Magazine) is pretty typical of the advertising for financial advice and portfolio management that targets our age group.

The Vanguard survey of 2,474 individuals age 40 to 69 indicates that “The conventional view of retirement — working full-time until a set date then shifting to full-time leisure –- does not match the experience of many older Americans.” Ergo, the so-called “New Retirement” of baby boomers that blends work with leisure is not so new. Some other nuggets of interest from the study:

  • According to the Social Security Administration, 45% of people 65 to 69 are earning income from work, as are 25% of people 70-74.

  • Downshifting, as in changing one’s relationship to work, is more typical than an abrupt end to work.

  • 6 in 10 people define the word “retirement” as some combination of work and leisure.

  • Self-employment is the second most popular option among the “Never Retire” group.

  • Implications for financial advisers: more complex and customized help needed.
  • Implications for employers who want to hang on to their experienced talent: phased retirement in demand.

Our choice and recommendation is for a balanced portfolio of work, service and leisure in later life. For more on this, contact a 2young2retire Certified Facilitator in your area and ask about the 2young2retire course. For listing by state, scroll down on right.

Saving Too Much?

Huh? When was the last time you heard that in this country? It is certainly an attention-grabber, which explains why A Contrarian View: Save Less, Retire With Enough is the number one emailed article in today’s New York Times. Naturally, the surprisingly consistent conclusion of a ‘loose confederation of well-regarded economists’ is getting a frosty reception from the folks who profit the most from managing large retirement portfolios. And critics of the research have a point in arguing that it could be a disincentive to save, which is a tough sell as it is.

We are squarely in the contrarian camp ourselves on this subject, if for a different reason. In fact, one book we recommend to people 50+ and older is Retire on Less Than You Think written by Fred Brock, former Seniority columnist for the Times, now ‘retired’ as a professor of journalism and author. Brock’s case is not for saving less, but for cutting expenses, and he offers specific and compelling examples of how to do that, including his own.

What isn’t at all new in the report is the persistence of the idea that people are retiring, as in ceasing to work, and therefore in need of adequate funds to keep them out of soup kitchens. This flies in the face of every survey conducted recently, and disputes the abundant evidence of people working past age 65, even if they can afford not to. Why older people in the workforce or starting businesses remains newsworthy, is a puzzlement.

Prisoner in Paradise

A coach and certified 2young2retire facilitator tells us of an affluent, retired client who is struggling to find something meaningful for the next part of his life. He describes himself as a ‘prisoner in paradise.’ Sounds like a nice problem to have. You’ve heard the saying,we know that money won’t buy us happiness, but we want to find out for ourselves? The irony here is that the wealth many of us aspire to, that we imagine will bring us freedom and unlimited choices — not to mention material goodies — can have just the opposite effect.

There are any number of reasons we need to be challenged throughout life. Strength or resistance training comes to mind. When we contract muscles to lift progressively heavier weights, we are deliberately causing minute ‘injuries’ in the muscle fibers. The body’s healing response actually makes the muscles stronger. In humanistic psychology, resilience is the “human capacity and ability to face, overcome, be strengthened by, and even be transformed by experiences of adversity.”

“You gotta have heat in everything you do,” says Wynton Marsalis. Advised Eleanor Roosevelt: “Do one thing every day that scares you.” To live richly, whatever your financial status, make these your mantra.

The Not-So Silent Generation

Between the Greatest Generation and much on-going ado about their children, the Baby Boomers, those of us born between 1925 and 1942 don’t get much respect. We are known as the Silent Generation, a term coined for us by Time Magazine in 1951, and we have been called “withdrawn, cautious, unimaginative, indifferent, unadventurous” and of course, silent. According to a succinct Wikipedia’s entry, we are generally considered conformists, plagued by indecision, the “suffocated children of war and depression.” Personal note: Howard remembers the World’s Fair of 1939 and “Doctor, what brand do you smoke?” Marika remembers everyone in uniform, the jitterbug, and post-war rationing in England.

If you are a Silent (or even if you’re not), consider this:

Silents have been ignored by marketers (we’re good with that!), the popular culture (Elvis, ignored?), and employers (maybe, because we wore our gray flannel suits to work and did our jobs). We may also be the last generation to receive a pension from employers, and the majority of us are retired (not us!)

No Silent was ever elected to the presidency. To this we say, Martin Luther King, Jr., more influential than any president since Truman in changing the course of American history. We say: The Beatles, Bob Dylan, not-so-Silents whose music changed the course of politics in the 60s.

Celebrate Silents with Frank Kaiser. Read historian David Kaiser’s (no relation) blog History Unfolding on the impact of Silents in public life today. Check out Time Magazine’s 70s interviews of prominent Silents like Gloria Steinem. Tell us what you think.

50+ Health Tip for Men: Eat Your Broccoli!

Better yet, combine broccoli with tomatoes, says a new University of Illinois study on the effects of diet on prostate cancer. According to study co-author, Kirstie Canene-Adams: “Older men with slow-growing prostate cancer who have chosen watchful waiting over chemotherapy and radiation should seriously consider altering their diets to included more tomatoes and broccoli.”

No problem in our pizza and pasta-loving house. With this quick, easy recipe, adapted from Andrew Weil‘s original, we even get our grandsons to eat tons of the green stuff.

Cut up one bunch of broccoli or use a packet of florets. Save the stalks for broccoli cheddar soup, another favorite around here. Place in large sauce pan.

Add 2-3 cloves of garlic, mashed, about 1/3 cup water, 1 tablespoon olive oil, a sprinkle of sea salt, and a dash of red pepper flakes.

Cover pan tightly and bring to boil, then lower heat and steam until crisp-tender. The broccoli should be bright green. Don’t walk away because the water boils away quickly. Overcooked broccoli (brownish) is what gives the vegetable its bad name. Ideally, you’ll have a small quantity of delicious garlic-infused broth to pour over the broccoli.

Enjoy with a tomato sauce pizza or pasta. Do it again tomorrow.

Trailer Park and Cat Food Blues? No Way!

Don’t know about you, but we get pretty steamed by these patronizing articles about Boomers and their money, see It’s Crunch Time for Retiring Boomers. And technically, we’re not even in the Boomer cohort! OK, maybe you guys have had a run of living too well too long, to borrow from the Paul Simon song. But there are two reasons, at least, why we believe that singing the trailer park and cat food blues is wrong-headed and should be rejected.

First, the assumption that you are too addicted to the so-called live-for-today lifestyle to adapt. We’re not buying it. Let us tell you that it is possible to go from 0 in the reserves to a chunk of change that gets the attention of financial advisers. We did it, starting in our 50s, and we’re no smarter about money than any one of you. Here are two things that worked for us:

1. We started paying ourselves first. In our case, it was stashing the maximum amount then allowed in a 401K, and fully funding a KEOGH account we created for our small business. We did this every year, and didn’t even miss the money after a while. Know what? It adds up.

2. We began to pay cash for just about everything. This is a recommendation you hear often, but here’s how it affected our bottom line and could impact yours. When you use cash, it puts the brakes on impulse spending. We didn’t like walking around with cash-fat wallets, so it forced us to think twice, put it off. Procrastination, whether about starting an exercise program, a diet, or making a purchase, is very effective. Just keep passing those ATMs!

Second point: the assumption that retirement — the dated model of full-time leisure — is inevitable. Take this away, and the whole picture changes. Find work you enjoy or create it, and plan to do it in some form for the rest of your life. After the technology bubble popped, one Boomer who thought he was headed to the golf links forever, revised his plan to become a golf equipment rep.

You need to build up a financial reserve. If you haven’t, beating up on yourself is pointless. Just start now. Working longer is an option well within your grasp. And don’t give up too easily or settle for the first thing. If you’re like a lot of folks (like us!), you did that the first time around. What could you happily do for the next 20 years or so? Where can you make a meaningful contribution? Those are the questions to ask yourself now. More about career change from Career Journal.

Vigorous exercise not optional

New York Times health columnist, Jane Brody, did for health club membership and the careers of personal trainers what no amount of advertising and promotion could. But she also did all of us a favor when she declared that a 30 minute walk several times a week just won’t cut it if you intend to remain fit and healthy throughout your life.

This is also the message of a book that we’ve been reading: Younger Next Year: A Guide to Living Like 50 Until You’re 80 and Beyond, written by 70-something Chris Crowley and his doctor, 40ish Henry S. Lodge. This quote from the inside flap is representative of the plain spoken style of the authors: Exercise tells the body to grow. Sitting too long tells the body to decay. The bottom line: vigorous aerobic exercise, particularly in the second half of life, is not optional. It is the key to making sure our health span equals our life span.

As a yoga teacher, I do have one important caveat about ramping up your fitness level: Don’t rush it. If your preferred form of exercise has been surfing the Internet, take some time to work up to a fitness level that makes sense for your body type and capability. And to avoid Boomeritis, the term for the epidemic of bone and joint aches, pains, and injuries, coined by orthopedic surgeon, Dr. Nicholas DiNubile, make sure you are approaching the heavy duty stuff like working with weights in a mindful way, and that you are balancing it with plenty of stretching and warmups.

Maybe because I have been thinking about this a lot, I attracted two new students to my Gentle Yoga class this morning. They were self-proclaimed gym-rats, 50+, muscular, part of the iron-pumping crowd that fills the gym where I teach yoga twice a week. I was particularly delighted to see these two body-builders in my class because I believe yoga can prevent or alleviate Boomeritis.

First off, one of the principles of yoga is ahimsa, non-violence, including violence to yourself. Second, yoga encourages you to focus on your breath and the subtle sensations of the body. Training one’s awareness, the heart of this body/mind discipline, reduces the likelihood of doing something dumb. Third, yoga is — or should be — very gradual. Even an advanced class begins with easier, almost intuitive stretches and moves, then progresses to deeper, more challenging work. Simply, yoga is ideal for the older body. Due diligence note: check with your physician before you begin any form of exercise.

Speaking of health, did you know annual cost of health care is a record-breaking $2 trillion? Listen to this NPR report about an unusual group of partners — AARP among them — who are launching a grassroots campaign for universal access to affordable health care.